aliasofwestgate: (wickedsmile)
2015-10-27 10:56 pm

been quite a while

Hello everyone!

Yeah it's been forever since i've posted here since i'm primarily on tumblr nowadays. But i figured i'd wander back to this to make sure it's still up and active.

It's beena  long couple of years for me. Grandma passing away. Last year my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. We caught it early and she got it removed. But we had to slog through 6 months of chemotherapy this year from january to late june. She's on the slow road to recovery now. She's having more good than bad days, which is awesome. Besides her Fibro, diabetes and teh RA in her ankles and lower back, it's all working otu slowly.

The BEST news has been my brother moving out in late june and taking his drama and bullshit with him. He didn't do shit to help mom along with chemo, just dumped it all on me. Then got mad when i was concentrating on helping mom and not his shit. He didn't seem to care at all that she wasn't able to do a lot of things for that half year.  I had enough dealing with that and my own health issues.

For my side of it all? It was keeping enough spoons free for myself while helping mom out. I got onto MI medicaid so i have help with my own pain management. Now that things are settling down and i'm back to slowly handling the crippling anxiety (with meds) that came out of livign with my asshole brother and the stress of helping mom out? It's a good thing. My pain is managed, at the least. Now i need to get around to working again. Whether i do it from home or do something else? We'll see.

I'm hoping that i'll be able to write again sooner or later. 
aliasofwestgate: (wickedsmile)
2013-09-14 06:26 pm
Entry tags:

gramma's gone

Gramma Tanner left us at 5am or so this morning. Hopefully she'll be happy again with Grampa and my Dad and those that left before. I'm dealing okay with it, but this was a long illness complicated by her alzhiemer's on top of that. She was a fighter all the way, even without all her memories. Beat cancer twice, raised my mom and my uncles with grampa. Was one of the first Mary Kay ladies in Ontario, Canada. Helluva role model. She was a housewife, but in no way was she inferior. Like my mom and dad, the marriage was a partnership. The way it should be.

I'll never forget her, either. Now all we can do is help mom deal, because this was her last surviving parent. Gramma was 84.

It looks like we won't be going over today, so i think i might be on for LFR tonight. Dunno. Depends on how i feel around 9pm. But it would be something to do, and i get to talk with my friends in the middle of it as well.

aliasofwestgate: (eh?)
2013-09-13 09:39 am

alive

Yeah, i'm still around. Mostly haven't been posting here for some time.

My grandma is dying, and i wanted to know those few that follow here that i won't be around for a while probably. We're on our way over to Sarnia very soon. Mom just got the call that she likely won't make it past today. 
aliasofwestgate: (wickedsmile)
2012-12-24 03:35 pm

christmas eve and trying to prevent homicide.

Of course it's my brother's idiot girlfriend doing the aggravation. I make a comment about her son leaving his older sister's real cellphone alone. He's not even 2 years old. He doesn't know any better about throwing things. This will BREAK and it was not paid for by us. Sarah's mother would not be happy if it was destroyed by a toddler. Not at all. Of course, the bint chooses to instead snap at me to 'leave him alone, he's fine. he plays with it all the time.'. My reply. He's not old enough to know better to not throw it. It's a real cell, not an actual toy! Pretty much what my comments amount to. No minutes does NOT mean he can break his big sister's cell. 

Egads i want to kill her some days. She's been basically fighting with my brother over petty shit the last 2 days, and i expect this to last well until the new year has passed. Because she IS that petty and she hates my guts because i tell her that she has actual boundrys and to actually CONTROL HER SON. I tell her son no all the time. Not any different than her screaming it at him. I just don't scream. He tends to listen to me too. When he doesn't, he gets a swat. He understands his auntie means business, even when he's not that old yet. There are reasons i call my nephew an Imp(my nickname for him *grin*), and that's one of them. He tries to push it with everyone, including me. I just don't let him get away with everything. Exactly the way i was raised. He's a smart little thing, and i know exactly how that goes. Some of the smart ones are well behaved, then you have shit disturbers in training like my nephew. i adore him, but his mother is an uncivilized savage. I'm civil to her face, she just attempts to pick fights with me and then stomps off in a prima donna huff when i don't fall for the bait. 

But yeah, that's been pretty much standard operating procedure the last few months. I'm still job hunting and i'm enjoying the holidays on a quiet note. But otherwise? Quite ready for her to stop her shit. 

Fandom wise? BBC's Merlin ends tonight over in the UK. It'll be a while before the US gets season 5, but i'll be paying attention to my tumblr to find out. *grin* It's been a great run for a show and i still love the fandom. 
aliasofwestgate: (eh?)
2012-09-15 03:03 am

(no subject)

Oh i'm still alive. Just busy with far too much for my liking and trying to keep at least marginally sane. Also: obsessing over new music from an old band that i've seen live twice and still love. The lead singer sounds a lot like Chris Cornell, but he's definitely his own creature. The band is just amazing, in and out of the studio. 

Big Wreck. One of the canadian rock bands that i can't help but love. They only had one song that got any airplay in the US and it never took off over here. Back it the late 90s, the song was called The Oaf (My Luck is Wasted). Look it up on soundclound, you wont' be dissappointed.  But they had a really successfull run in their home country, broke up around 2003-4 and then just got back together back in 2011. YAY. :D 

So their new album has two songs i'm going crazy over at the moment and trying to sort into my plotbunny filled existence while i deal with job hunting, wowcrack, and tumblr invading my life. That my family drives me nuts goes without saying. This is my way to cope. 
aliasofwestgate: (Shoutarou)
2012-07-23 07:53 pm

(no subject)

Still alive, i'm just up to my ears in family crazies. Which isn't new. 
aliasofwestgate: (john smile)
2012-06-26 03:04 pm

BBC Sherlock's soundtracks. oh dear gods...

I finally got around to getting my paws on the BBC Sherlock OST. I was right in that they are absolutely amazing on their own merit. The mix of orchestra and the older period instruments and modern score tricks is what caught my ear originally. It really hasn’t changed my opinion in 2 years and two series. The stuff is frankly amazing in how it carries the story and doesn’t intrude. Which is pretty much all i ask of a score.

David Arnold and Michael Price are so commended for putting this together. The tiny bits of ambient tossed into the mixture of old and new also just MAKE it. It’s subtle, unless you catch it at the right time or have a trained ear like my crazy self. ^^;;

I have yet to really pin down a favorite, as i’m on my first listening of them. I will soon enough.

First impressions though? An incredible fusion of period victorian instrumentals and instruments with all the modern trappings to add to the sheer substance of the sound. The movements are layered and nuanced in ways worthy of oscar winning film scores. It’s just hard to beat things like this. Severely hard to beat them. Fusions always catch my ear cause they can be blatant or they can be subtle and devious. This is the latter.  It starts obvious and then draws you into the ambient parts without pause till you drool even harder.

It feeds into the growing relationship between John and Sherlock as they figure each other out in the first series, right up until that cliffhanger that had the fans howling across the world. This is exactly what a good score is supposed to do. Enhance the story without words. Then keeps you there in Series 2 and just adds even more to the shocks, horrors, and joys of it all. Series 3 is highly anticipated and i’m up for more than just John punching him in the face twice, crying and tackling him with joy. I want to hear the score that goes with it. :D

`````````````````

PS. The bint is in jail because she skipped out on her community service and didn't pay her fine. BHAHAHAHAH. Sorry, but i can't help it. Now i'm mostly just tired because cranky nephew is cranky. He's a stroppy 15 month old and keeping up with him is nuts. Mom and i can't do it on a constant basis, and scott knows it. He's going to have to arrange for help, and be an active daddy while he's here. For now? I've been gloating because she's gone, when not falling over from going after my imp of a nephew.

aliasofwestgate: (pissoff)
2012-06-11 01:05 pm

i swear i'm gonna

I'm going to try to write something iv'e had boiling in my head for a while, and then i'm going to blow shit up in WoW. At the moment? I'm mostly pissed off. it's been hours worth of arguing and a whiny baby all morning long, and it just seems to get worse every day because my brother just refuses to let the bint leave him outright. I'd rather kick her out, even if i worry for the baby, she doesn't deserve to be here and she has no respect for Mom or I.  He's also an idiot who wont' file for custody while he knows she's still in town so she can't take off with the baby. Not as if there isn't enough issues with her upcoming due date for the fine for the shoplifting she did while he was in jail for 8 weeks. She'll probably go to jail, and it better be because scott will NOT pay for it. She needs to learn something. She can't play the baby card while violating the points of the reason the judge didn't slam her behind bars for stealing at least 200$ worth of merch. Frankly, neither of them have no respect for mom or i. Or the fact that this is mom's house, not his.

Blowing shit up in WoW will be quite cathartic. Especially with my brand new little dwarf fire mage on Elune. I am LOVING Pyroblast. Things go BOOM, i feel better. Writing will help the other way, with just having the feedback of fandom again because that's always a good thing, and i have a couple new fandoms to play around in besides.

Things will improve, but egads i wanna slap them both upside the head and rattle their brains. But it wouldn't do any good, and the bint probably WANTS me to slug her so she can claim i assaulted her. Because according to her 'i don't belong in this house.' when she's the one brought in without permission and this is MY family home. I'm the eldest daughter and she has far less right to be here than i do. I'm also not using my nephew for leverage so she can stay. Skank, leech, manipulative little bint. There's so much more i could call her, but like i said. blow shit up. Job hunting continues, but there's so much stupid shit going down i don't like leaving mom alone here. Especially with the bint present who does NOTHING to help her. Just eats all the food we buy.
aliasofwestgate: (shoot a cabbie--JW)
2012-05-11 01:26 pm

uh yeah...

I had an 'audition' of sorts for a telemarketing for charity company. I did do my best, but my sincerity wasn't enough for them. They wanted a bloody stupid cheerleader culture. Not my style. Not EVER my style. As if cold calling isn't back breaking enough to begin with! I was the choir jock, the scifi/fantasy girlgeek. I could never buy into the cheerleader culture, i started to get annoyed with it by age 11 or 12, i think. Just before high school.

The cause? i honestly liked, but i'm much better suited to retail settings. I'm allowed to improvise if need be and do what's needed. Just. Yargh. Cynicism is allowed. Not that sarcasm wasn't, but i wasn't really comfortable in that office. It would have been write ups within a week and possibly an ulcer in a month. No way, and not again.

It just reminded me of how much i changed, even when i was a lot younger. Why i basically left that whole subculture in the dust at 16 with my general 'fuck it, i'm going military' at that age. After that? It was easy to distance myself from the stupidity of thinking/acting. I will never be that ON. It's exhausting, and frankly? Bloody well INSANE.
aliasofwestgate: (Inner Editor Confiscation)
2012-05-07 02:46 am

okay seriously?

Dammit. i'm trying to write this detail for the Dresden/H50 fic of doom and i'm having to research That detail too. How would this particular entity perceive this family style? *throws hands up* I should just sleep on it and work on it tomorrow. Bleagh. I know enough pagan people to ask to the point where i might be able to figure out how the 'flavor' would be.  It's the only thing really blocking me from finishing this chapter and its driving me up the wall. Danny's voice is just fine, it's the critter he's talking to that's gotta be just right. My mythology bent swings between blessing and curse on nights like this.
aliasofwestgate: (Default)
2012-04-30 01:36 am

I've returned.

*thud* Munching on some mcdonald's and pretty much collapsing. Not a lot i want to do tomorrow beyond resting and unpacking. I'm still stupidly happy i got that Figuarts Kamen Rider Gatack. I got myself a Kagami to go with my Kuuga. Now all i need is one of the Double variations and i'll be complete in my favorites catagory. :D

Hope everyone else made it back safe!
aliasofwestgate: (cosmos)
2012-04-26 03:01 am

one more thing!

suitcase!














A little blurry but here ya go. :D Tokusatsu fan? YES! I haz my Acculular, my Kuuga is covered up in my clothes along with my Go-OnBlue figurine underneath all that. But i wasn't going ot repack afterwards.

3 hours and i'm on my way. Sleep? What Sleep? XD

Forgive the blurry. My camera isn't the best.
aliasofwestgate: (BoredNowShou)
2012-04-25 09:45 pm

yesh. i'm still alive

Heya all.

Yes i'm still here. Just been wandering around fandom and living with crazies, nothing new there. *grin*

BUT It's Anime Central time and i'm on my way in a matter of hours. 6am train from Port Huron, and i'll be in chicago around noonish. I'll try to post from there, but we'll see. For now? I'm finishing the last of my packing and getting things set to go.

Life's been a bit nuts. new live action fandoms, anime's been rather meh, but Toku's still going strong. Especially as i've been catching up on stuff i've been stalling on. We've got our two panels to present this year. our Tokusatsu 101 stuff, and Tokusatsu Tropes. Looking forward to introducing the genre to new people and seeing a few old friends at the Tropes panel. *grin* We have far too much fun presenting these, year after year. I wish i had more than my Shoutarou Hidari cosplay but that's not happening this year. Maybe next year i can either have made, or make my out GUYS jacket. Cause my favorite by far is Ryuu from that particular Ultraman show. Although...there's also teh EYES uniforms from Ultraman Cosmos. Cause Fubuki is just all kinds of awesome. Musashi's adorable but Fubuki is just so much fun in his perpetual grumpy badassery.

I might even try to finish writing that next chapter of Kahuna i've been working on. I'm not quite done yet, but i'm stuck on a bit of dialogue. Maybe this weekend will shake it out. I need a change of scenery and a weekend of geeking out should do it. 

We're having a long awaited reunion though. [livejournal.com profile] sychogrl is coming back this year, and [livejournal.com profile] padfut_n_prongs is coming for the first time. With luck next year, we'll have a [livejournal.com profile] mbwun again. For now? Laughter, pictures and general fun and games of the fangirl variety.

Something i've definitely needed, and maybe i'll get that fanfic written. :D
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
2012-02-08 11:42 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

I really want to boot this bitch into next week. Seriously. I just want to be left alone, or else have her do something other than tell me where to take her and not get any gas money for it.

Next update will be fandom related, i  swear!
aliasofwestgate: (h50 guns)
2012-02-06 09:20 pm

Kahuna 6/?

Title: Kahuna
Fandoms: H50 and Dresden files fusion
Rating: PG-13 for now.
Warnings: General s1 spoilers and majority of concepts used for Dresden Files.
Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] imkalena for kicking my ass for the beta and Hawaii info. Inspired by the prompt by [livejournal.com profile] grnidshrk. Also? Real life took a nosedive after  may last year (getting fired does that). I'm just now picking up the pieces, when Danny knocked me upside the head. *grin* 
Summary: Danny has a stalker.


``````````````````


I suppressed a shudder.  )

Owari ^_~ 

I've already started a bit of research into the next part. Comments and concrit are love, as always. :D  Sorry it took so long!

aliasofwestgate: (eh?)
2012-02-06 03:56 pm
Entry tags:

*knock knock*

I'm still live, I just keep getting engrossed in other stuff. ^^;; I'll post later, as a lot has been happening for me. In both fandom and non-fandom. At the moment though? bleagh.
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
2011-12-28 03:50 pm

i am getting tired of complaining.

My brother is an ungrateful little shit who can't be arsed to bother with housework the rest of the time when he's working. But he gets any time off and does a small portion of it and expects me to be fucking grateful? Especially when he starts bitching that i don't do anything? Who's doing majority of the cooking while he's working all day? Certainly not him! I do a lot more cleaning than he does, and he thinks his girlfriend does it all? HAH. I just do it when he's  not paying attention and he discounts it entirely. Or he's too busy fighting with her to bother. So of course i do 'nothing'.

This is after a christmas where all that happened was that he all but ruined it (even with company present). He and the daft bint he calls his girlfriend did nothing but fight all christmas day, and most of christmas eve. He wonders why i make a point of keeping out of his way except for when i have to run damage control for mom and my neice sarah?

He bitched about the litter box not being emptied (after i'd just done it and teh cast used it at least twice in the meantime), when he hasn't paid any attention to it himself beyond bitching at me to clean in the last freaking 8 weeks.  Seriously. Where the FUCK does he get off?

I'm still job hunting, but fucking hell he just needs to get off his high horse. I can and do call him on this shit but he HAS to be right. He wants to be an alpha male and its just not possible in this house, not with me around as the older sister. He's just not suited for it and he's got it all wrong. He's being more abusive than anything else, verbally. He's been breaking things again, and mom's threatened to call the cops.  Even if we do, i don't expect him to keep with any of his anger management requirements. He's ignored it before or refused to see the counselors, so i dont' expect him to listen time either. 

He respects none of us in this house, and i pretty much call him on his shit because he has no respect for me. I can't give any respect to anything but his privacy, but he certainly isn't getting anything other than that from me. I've always had issues with abused authority and he will NEVER have that authority as long as he keeps acting the way he is. Nor my respect. He either learns it and earns it back, or he'll never get it again from me. I never gave it to bosses that abused it, and he wont' get it as long as he continues on this line

Sorry i've ranted, but i've mostly had it. He's driving me nuts today with his rotten attempts at being superior and being nothing but a passive aggressive hypocritical asshole. He needs help, but refuses to take it when its offered and otherwise doesn't give a shit who he hurts. He shouldnt' even be thinking of himself, he should be thinking of his kids.  He's 28, he acts like he's 12. 

I'll do another post on my brain latching onto fandom in the last few weeks, but not yet. Maybe in a day or two. Gods.
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
2011-11-20 01:34 pm

wtf asshole

Play happy family and feed your daughter, and your girlfriend but don't get anything for mom. This is after you butter her up on friday(by making breakfast) morning to ask if the idiot girlfriend could move back IN with us.  Then you yell at her all morning today because you don't get your way, and don't even ask me if i want to say yes or no to getting your asshole girlfriend's stuff to bring back here. Guess what, i'm saying no if you DO ask. She doesn't deserve my civility, she doesn't even talk to me unless she wants something from me. I'm polite to her only because its my nature, and you still won't tell the shit to my face that you yell at mom about to MY face, you freaking coward.

I have a pounding headache no thanks to your tv up full blast since 9am and your voices on just as loud, and your own swearing about the dog and the cat because they don't dance to your tune.  The dog is TERRIFIED of you because you yell at her, and the cat doesn't give a shit what you think. I live right next door to you, but you carry on as if i'm not there. At all hours of the day. I doubt you'll change if i do get a job. I was more considerate of you when i was working when you were little, asshole. You aren't of me, when you have a job and i'm still hunting for one.

No love,
Me`

`````````
My younger brother is an asshole but i had to get this out. As much as i love fandom i'm tired of this shit. He pulls it every chance he gets. Stupid bint of a girlfriend may be back in the house, but i give her a week before it goes to shit and she leaves again. This promise of 200$ a month? I doubt will be kept. Or if it is? Will go for maybe 2 months before he starts making excuses for not giving her anything. Meanwhile, teh bills to keep the house up? Will rise like crazy because the bint has no sense of organization or the ability to conserve power or resources. She can't keep a house. She has no ability whatsoever as much as he claims she does more than i do. Mom and i just need to leave. He can keep the house up, and drown in bills by himself. That way he can't blame anyone but himself.

I'm watching some Ultraman Cosmos today at some point, maybe it'll cheer me up a bit. I'm just tired right now. So very tired of this shit and i doubt it'll improve at all once i get a job. He doesn't look after mom the way he should, and he never will. Because he's a selfish little asshole. There are reasons i drew my boundries the minute i moved back in. He hates it that i made it clear and he knows it. Which is why he never tells me shit to my face, since he's too scared of me throwing it right back at him. I'm stronger than he is and he knows it. I've got my own pain disorder and i still kept myself up for as long as i could when i was working. I will again too.

Time to finish a few things and then run into town for an errand. Then i can attempt to relax for a little bit before the loudness and shit starts again.
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
2011-11-07 12:40 pm

dumb bint

She's been calling here for the last 2 hours. At least 10 times so far. Obsessively. Because she wants my brother to move heaven and earth to bring her BABY WIPES. She's the one who ran off, she's the one who tortures him all the time on the phone with whatever she says to him. (not that he doesn't deserve it). She forgets he has a bloody well job to go to, and that he's got a court date he has to make today as well.  A court date her current benefactors are responsible for shoving on him. He can't make it over there because she wants him to bring her shit. She has to figure out how to ask the OTHER people she lives with for help.  She doesn't want to live here (and i dont' want her here again besides), she needs to learn to fend for her bloody well self.

I'm betting she's going to call at least 5 more times to bitch at him for not doing what she wants NOW before he leaves to go downtown. If she doesn't, its because they've been arguing on the phone for the last freaking hour.  She's a five year old, i swear.

In the meantime? I just wanna pull my pillow over my head and ignore this shit. She gives me a headache.  (yes this is the little brother's idiot mother of his 3rd child and on again off again 'girlfriend' depending on her current mood)
aliasofwestgate: (joe smile)
2011-10-22 09:38 pm

omg ultraman cosmos

I knew my suspicions about this show being good were on the money. It's actually the predecessor for Mebius in many ways. Especially the tone and character development. Just the right mix of crack and drama.

First off, the major differences for this Ultra compared to the normal ones, and the earth he protects. Cosmos and Musashi bonded when Musashi was about 8, when he was chasing another monster to earth. The tv series takes place 10 years later with Cosmos coming back again because a big nasty that infects other kaijuu has appeared.

Cosmos is a fighter, but his primary function as a blue ultra is healing. He can brawl at high speed in his default blue (Luna) form, as well as heal and shield. He has some firepower, but not as much as when he changes over to red (Corona) mode, he's got tank level brawling skills and the ability for killing, if need be. He gets at least two more from the show, i think, and another one or two from the movies afterwards.

The idea that he heals is good, cause on this earth most kaijuu aren't actually bad and the team that Musashi is part of is concerned with capture as much as possible, compared to killing outright. Musashi actually works for the planetary Monster Conservatory where they transport them after Cosmos heals them from the Chaos Headder's infection.  They've run into sentient kaijuu incredibly fast, compared to other Ultra shows where they're all GRRRARRGHSMAASH for about 20 episodes before they run into the speaking ones.  They had a speaking one by episode 4, which was just a good ep overall. The overarching theme is definitely  to do with the friendships between the kaijuu and kids as well, along with the ties and misadventures of Team EYES.  Along with the growth of one member in particular.

That team member is Fubuki, who's the hotshot pilot of the team. He's damned good at what he does but he's more trigger happy around the kaijuu than it rates. More concerned with strength, rather than protection of everyone. From what i've read, he has his reasons but right now he's still a jerk.  He's starting to change a bit, especially as he and Musashi started butting heads over it from episode one onwards. They've had no few high bromance moments.  Especially episode five with the patented bedside vigil after Fubuki gets himself trampled by that particular big nasty.(This is after Hiura-Taichou was playing matchmaker and called them the 'HaruKaze Combi). Musashi was also the one to see the ghost of his little sister in ep 12, which was just all kinds of sad. So yes. i'm 14 episodes through of 65 episodes.  Longest running Ultraman show EVER.  I'm loving every minute of it. :D

By the way, i'm watching this raw as there isn't a complete set of subs for this yet. Which i'm planning to remedy as part of Hikari Senshi subs in a few months. AFTER i get at least halfway through  my other project.  For now, i'm able to understand about half of it on my own, without freaking out at the technobabble that i can't understand.  Fangirl? Hell yah. i need icons to be made, and i will at some point.  Of both this and Mebius, who so far are proving to be my favorite Ultras. I've blown through 14 episodes in about 16 hours.  Always a good sign in my book.

Also, Cosmos uses a very distinct fighting style. Probably the most unique one i've seen for an Ultra. It's mildly familiar, which is driving me nuts. i could swear i've seen it, but not sure where.

Gokaiger was cute as hell, with the return of Sousuke, who needs his Renn badly.  Fourze, i only got to see about half of because i was feeding a cranky nephew, but otherwise what i saw? Was VERY good. So i've begun my raw stalking of the night and into tomorrow morning. :D

For now? i need to get through part of this project tonight before i watch more Cosmos.  Mom and i have been watching Sarah and Evan all day, so tired is putting it  nicely for both of us.  My younger brother should be back from work in the next hour or so, which is good.