aliasofwestgate: (wickedsmile)
Hello everyone!

Yeah it's been forever since i've posted here since i'm primarily on tumblr nowadays. But i figured i'd wander back to this to make sure it's still up and active.

It's beena  long couple of years for me. Grandma passing away. Last year my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. We caught it early and she got it removed. But we had to slog through 6 months of chemotherapy this year from january to late june. She's on the slow road to recovery now. She's having more good than bad days, which is awesome. Besides her Fibro, diabetes and teh RA in her ankles and lower back, it's all working otu slowly.

The BEST news has been my brother moving out in late june and taking his drama and bullshit with him. He didn't do shit to help mom along with chemo, just dumped it all on me. Then got mad when i was concentrating on helping mom and not his shit. He didn't seem to care at all that she wasn't able to do a lot of things for that half year.  I had enough dealing with that and my own health issues.

For my side of it all? It was keeping enough spoons free for myself while helping mom out. I got onto MI medicaid so i have help with my own pain management. Now that things are settling down and i'm back to slowly handling the crippling anxiety (with meds) that came out of livign with my asshole brother and the stress of helping mom out? It's a good thing. My pain is managed, at the least. Now i need to get around to working again. Whether i do it from home or do something else? We'll see.

I'm hoping that i'll be able to write again sooner or later. 
aliasofwestgate: (wickedsmile)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 06:26pm on 14/09/2013 under ,

Gramma Tanner left us at 5am or so this morning. Hopefully she'll be happy again with Grampa and my Dad and those that left before. I'm dealing okay with it, but this was a long illness complicated by her alzhiemer's on top of that. She was a fighter all the way, even without all her memories. Beat cancer twice, raised my mom and my uncles with grampa. Was one of the first Mary Kay ladies in Ontario, Canada. Helluva role model. She was a housewife, but in no way was she inferior. Like my mom and dad, the marriage was a partnership. The way it should be.

I'll never forget her, either. Now all we can do is help mom deal, because this was her last surviving parent. Gramma was 84.

It looks like we won't be going over today, so i think i might be on for LFR tonight. Dunno. Depends on how i feel around 9pm. But it would be something to do, and i get to talk with my friends in the middle of it as well.

aliasofwestgate: (wickedsmile)
Of course it's my brother's idiot girlfriend doing the aggravation. I make a comment about her son leaving his older sister's real cellphone alone. He's not even 2 years old. He doesn't know any better about throwing things. This will BREAK and it was not paid for by us. Sarah's mother would not be happy if it was destroyed by a toddler. Not at all. Of course, the bint chooses to instead snap at me to 'leave him alone, he's fine. he plays with it all the time.'. My reply. He's not old enough to know better to not throw it. It's a real cell, not an actual toy! Pretty much what my comments amount to. No minutes does NOT mean he can break his big sister's cell. 

Egads i want to kill her some days. She's been basically fighting with my brother over petty shit the last 2 days, and i expect this to last well until the new year has passed. Because she IS that petty and she hates my guts because i tell her that she has actual boundrys and to actually CONTROL HER SON. I tell her son no all the time. Not any different than her screaming it at him. I just don't scream. He tends to listen to me too. When he doesn't, he gets a swat. He understands his auntie means business, even when he's not that old yet. There are reasons i call my nephew an Imp(my nickname for him *grin*), and that's one of them. He tries to push it with everyone, including me. I just don't let him get away with everything. Exactly the way i was raised. He's a smart little thing, and i know exactly how that goes. Some of the smart ones are well behaved, then you have shit disturbers in training like my nephew. i adore him, but his mother is an uncivilized savage. I'm civil to her face, she just attempts to pick fights with me and then stomps off in a prima donna huff when i don't fall for the bait. 

But yeah, that's been pretty much standard operating procedure the last few months. I'm still job hunting and i'm enjoying the holidays on a quiet note. But otherwise? Quite ready for her to stop her shit. 

Fandom wise? BBC's Merlin ends tonight over in the UK. It'll be a while before the US gets season 5, but i'll be paying attention to my tumblr to find out. *grin* It's been a great run for a show and i still love the fandom. 
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
aliasofwestgate: (Shoutarou)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 07:53pm on 23/07/2012 under ,
Still alive, i'm just up to my ears in family crazies. Which isn't new. 
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
aliasofwestgate: (john smile)

I finally got around to getting my paws on the BBC Sherlock OST. I was right in that they are absolutely amazing on their own merit. The mix of orchestra and the older period instruments and modern score tricks is what caught my ear originally. It really hasn’t changed my opinion in 2 years and two series. The stuff is frankly amazing in how it carries the story and doesn’t intrude. Which is pretty much all i ask of a score.

David Arnold and Michael Price are so commended for putting this together. The tiny bits of ambient tossed into the mixture of old and new also just MAKE it. It’s subtle, unless you catch it at the right time or have a trained ear like my crazy self. ^^;;

I have yet to really pin down a favorite, as i’m on my first listening of them. I will soon enough.

First impressions though? An incredible fusion of period victorian instrumentals and instruments with all the modern trappings to add to the sheer substance of the sound. The movements are layered and nuanced in ways worthy of oscar winning film scores. It’s just hard to beat things like this. Severely hard to beat them. Fusions always catch my ear cause they can be blatant or they can be subtle and devious. This is the latter.  It starts obvious and then draws you into the ambient parts without pause till you drool even harder.

It feeds into the growing relationship between John and Sherlock as they figure each other out in the first series, right up until that cliffhanger that had the fans howling across the world. This is exactly what a good score is supposed to do. Enhance the story without words. Then keeps you there in Series 2 and just adds even more to the shocks, horrors, and joys of it all. Series 3 is highly anticipated and i’m up for more than just John punching him in the face twice, crying and tackling him with joy. I want to hear the score that goes with it. :D


PS. The bint is in jail because she skipped out on her community service and didn't pay her fine. BHAHAHAHAH. Sorry, but i can't help it. Now i'm mostly just tired because cranky nephew is cranky. He's a stroppy 15 month old and keeping up with him is nuts. Mom and i can't do it on a constant basis, and scott knows it. He's going to have to arrange for help, and be an active daddy while he's here. For now? I've been gloating because she's gone, when not falling over from going after my imp of a nephew.

Mood:: 'tired' tired
Music:: Deductoion and Deception--Sherlock s2 OST
aliasofwestgate: (pissoff)
I'm going to try to write something iv'e had boiling in my head for a while, and then i'm going to blow shit up in WoW. At the moment? I'm mostly pissed off. it's been hours worth of arguing and a whiny baby all morning long, and it just seems to get worse every day because my brother just refuses to let the bint leave him outright. I'd rather kick her out, even if i worry for the baby, she doesn't deserve to be here and she has no respect for Mom or I.  He's also an idiot who wont' file for custody while he knows she's still in town so she can't take off with the baby. Not as if there isn't enough issues with her upcoming due date for the fine for the shoplifting she did while he was in jail for 8 weeks. She'll probably go to jail, and it better be because scott will NOT pay for it. She needs to learn something. She can't play the baby card while violating the points of the reason the judge didn't slam her behind bars for stealing at least 200$ worth of merch. Frankly, neither of them have no respect for mom or i. Or the fact that this is mom's house, not his.

Blowing shit up in WoW will be quite cathartic. Especially with my brand new little dwarf fire mage on Elune. I am LOVING Pyroblast. Things go BOOM, i feel better. Writing will help the other way, with just having the feedback of fandom again because that's always a good thing, and i have a couple new fandoms to play around in besides.

Things will improve, but egads i wanna slap them both upside the head and rattle their brains. But it wouldn't do any good, and the bint probably WANTS me to slug her so she can claim i assaulted her. Because according to her 'i don't belong in this house.' when she's the one brought in without permission and this is MY family home. I'm the eldest daughter and she has far less right to be here than i do. I'm also not using my nephew for leverage so she can stay. Skank, leech, manipulative little bint. There's so much more i could call her, but like i said. blow shit up. Job hunting continues, but there's so much stupid shit going down i don't like leaving mom alone here. Especially with the bint present who does NOTHING to help her. Just eats all the food we buy.
Mood:: 'bitchy' bitchy
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 11:42am on 08/02/2012 under , ,
I really want to boot this bitch into next week. Seriously. I just want to be left alone, or else have her do something other than tell me where to take her and not get any gas money for it.

Next update will be fandom related, i  swear!
Mood:: 'bitchy' bitchy
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
My brother is an ungrateful little shit who can't be arsed to bother with housework the rest of the time when he's working. But he gets any time off and does a small portion of it and expects me to be fucking grateful? Especially when he starts bitching that i don't do anything? Who's doing majority of the cooking while he's working all day? Certainly not him! I do a lot more cleaning than he does, and he thinks his girlfriend does it all? HAH. I just do it when he's  not paying attention and he discounts it entirely. Or he's too busy fighting with her to bother. So of course i do 'nothing'.

This is after a christmas where all that happened was that he all but ruined it (even with company present). He and the daft bint he calls his girlfriend did nothing but fight all christmas day, and most of christmas eve. He wonders why i make a point of keeping out of his way except for when i have to run damage control for mom and my neice sarah?

He bitched about the litter box not being emptied (after i'd just done it and teh cast used it at least twice in the meantime), when he hasn't paid any attention to it himself beyond bitching at me to clean in the last freaking 8 weeks.  Seriously. Where the FUCK does he get off?

I'm still job hunting, but fucking hell he just needs to get off his high horse. I can and do call him on this shit but he HAS to be right. He wants to be an alpha male and its just not possible in this house, not with me around as the older sister. He's just not suited for it and he's got it all wrong. He's being more abusive than anything else, verbally. He's been breaking things again, and mom's threatened to call the cops.  Even if we do, i don't expect him to keep with any of his anger management requirements. He's ignored it before or refused to see the counselors, so i dont' expect him to listen time either. 

He respects none of us in this house, and i pretty much call him on his shit because he has no respect for me. I can't give any respect to anything but his privacy, but he certainly isn't getting anything other than that from me. I've always had issues with abused authority and he will NEVER have that authority as long as he keeps acting the way he is. Nor my respect. He either learns it and earns it back, or he'll never get it again from me. I never gave it to bosses that abused it, and he wont' get it as long as he continues on this line

Sorry i've ranted, but i've mostly had it. He's driving me nuts today with his rotten attempts at being superior and being nothing but a passive aggressive hypocritical asshole. He needs help, but refuses to take it when its offered and otherwise doesn't give a shit who he hurts. He shouldnt' even be thinking of himself, he should be thinking of his kids.  He's 28, he acts like he's 12. 

I'll do another post on my brain latching onto fandom in the last few weeks, but not yet. Maybe in a day or two. Gods.
Mood:: 'bitchy' bitchy
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 01:34pm on 20/11/2011 under , ,
Play happy family and feed your daughter, and your girlfriend but don't get anything for mom. This is after you butter her up on friday(by making breakfast) morning to ask if the idiot girlfriend could move back IN with us.  Then you yell at her all morning today because you don't get your way, and don't even ask me if i want to say yes or no to getting your asshole girlfriend's stuff to bring back here. Guess what, i'm saying no if you DO ask. She doesn't deserve my civility, she doesn't even talk to me unless she wants something from me. I'm polite to her only because its my nature, and you still won't tell the shit to my face that you yell at mom about to MY face, you freaking coward.

I have a pounding headache no thanks to your tv up full blast since 9am and your voices on just as loud, and your own swearing about the dog and the cat because they don't dance to your tune.  The dog is TERRIFIED of you because you yell at her, and the cat doesn't give a shit what you think. I live right next door to you, but you carry on as if i'm not there. At all hours of the day. I doubt you'll change if i do get a job. I was more considerate of you when i was working when you were little, asshole. You aren't of me, when you have a job and i'm still hunting for one.

No love,

My younger brother is an asshole but i had to get this out. As much as i love fandom i'm tired of this shit. He pulls it every chance he gets. Stupid bint of a girlfriend may be back in the house, but i give her a week before it goes to shit and she leaves again. This promise of 200$ a month? I doubt will be kept. Or if it is? Will go for maybe 2 months before he starts making excuses for not giving her anything. Meanwhile, teh bills to keep the house up? Will rise like crazy because the bint has no sense of organization or the ability to conserve power or resources. She can't keep a house. She has no ability whatsoever as much as he claims she does more than i do. Mom and i just need to leave. He can keep the house up, and drown in bills by himself. That way he can't blame anyone but himself.

I'm watching some Ultraman Cosmos today at some point, maybe it'll cheer me up a bit. I'm just tired right now. So very tired of this shit and i doubt it'll improve at all once i get a job. He doesn't look after mom the way he should, and he never will. Because he's a selfish little asshole. There are reasons i drew my boundries the minute i moved back in. He hates it that i made it clear and he knows it. Which is why he never tells me shit to my face, since he's too scared of me throwing it right back at him. I'm stronger than he is and he knows it. I've got my own pain disorder and i still kept myself up for as long as i could when i was working. I will again too.

Time to finish a few things and then run into town for an errand. Then i can attempt to relax for a little bit before the loudness and shit starts again.
Mood:: 'pissed off' pissed off
Music:: Butterfly--Acid Black Cherry in my head
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 12:40pm on 07/11/2011 under , , ,
She's been calling here for the last 2 hours. At least 10 times so far. Obsessively. Because she wants my brother to move heaven and earth to bring her BABY WIPES. She's the one who ran off, she's the one who tortures him all the time on the phone with whatever she says to him. (not that he doesn't deserve it). She forgets he has a bloody well job to go to, and that he's got a court date he has to make today as well.  A court date her current benefactors are responsible for shoving on him. He can't make it over there because she wants him to bring her shit. She has to figure out how to ask the OTHER people she lives with for help.  She doesn't want to live here (and i dont' want her here again besides), she needs to learn to fend for her bloody well self.

I'm betting she's going to call at least 5 more times to bitch at him for not doing what she wants NOW before he leaves to go downtown. If she doesn't, its because they've been arguing on the phone for the last freaking hour.  She's a five year old, i swear.

In the meantime? I just wanna pull my pillow over my head and ignore this shit. She gives me a headache.  (yes this is the little brother's idiot mother of his 3rd child and on again off again 'girlfriend' depending on her current mood)
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
Music:: Butterfly--Acid Black Cherry in my head


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