Hello everyone!

Yeah it's been forever since i've posted here since i'm primarily on tumblr nowadays. But i figured i'd wander back to this to make sure it's still up and active.

It's beena  long couple of years for me. Grandma passing away. Last year my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. We caught it early and she got it removed. But we had to slog through 6 months of chemotherapy this year from january to late june. She's on the slow road to recovery now. She's having more good than bad days, which is awesome. Besides her Fibro, diabetes and teh RA in her ankles and lower back, it's all working otu slowly.

The BEST news has been my brother moving out in late june and taking his drama and bullshit with him. He didn't do shit to help mom along with chemo, just dumped it all on me. Then got mad when i was concentrating on helping mom and not his shit. He didn't seem to care at all that she wasn't able to do a lot of things for that half year.  I had enough dealing with that and my own health issues.

For my side of it all? It was keeping enough spoons free for myself while helping mom out. I got onto MI medicaid so i have help with my own pain management. Now that things are settling down and i'm back to slowly handling the crippling anxiety (with meds) that came out of livign with my asshole brother and the stress of helping mom out? It's a good thing. My pain is managed, at the least. Now i need to get around to working again. Whether i do it from home or do something else? We'll see.

I'm hoping that i'll be able to write again sooner or later. 

Of course it's my brother's idiot girlfriend doing the aggravation. I make a comment about her son leaving his older sister's real cellphone alone. He's not even 2 years old. He doesn't know any better about throwing things. This will BREAK and it was not paid for by us. Sarah's mother would not be happy if it was destroyed by a toddler. Not at all. Of course, the bint chooses to instead snap at me to 'leave him alone, he's fine. he plays with it all the time.'. My reply. He's not old enough to know better to not throw it. It's a real cell, not an actual toy! Pretty much what my comments amount to. No minutes does NOT mean he can break his big sister's cell. 

Egads i want to kill her some days. She's been basically fighting with my brother over petty shit the last 2 days, and i expect this to last well until the new year has passed. Because she IS that petty and she hates my guts because i tell her that she has actual boundrys and to actually CONTROL HER SON. I tell her son no all the time. Not any different than her screaming it at him. I just don't scream. He tends to listen to me too. When he doesn't, he gets a swat. He understands his auntie means business, even when he's not that old yet. There are reasons i call my nephew an Imp(my nickname for him *grin*), and that's one of them. He tries to push it with everyone, including me. I just don't let him get away with everything. Exactly the way i was raised. He's a smart little thing, and i know exactly how that goes. Some of the smart ones are well behaved, then you have shit disturbers in training like my nephew. i adore him, but his mother is an uncivilized savage. I'm civil to her face, she just attempts to pick fights with me and then stomps off in a prima donna huff when i don't fall for the bait. 

But yeah, that's been pretty much standard operating procedure the last few months. I'm still job hunting and i'm enjoying the holidays on a quiet note. But otherwise? Quite ready for her to stop her shit. 

Fandom wise? BBC's Merlin ends tonight over in the UK. It'll be a while before the US gets season 5, but i'll be paying attention to my tumblr to find out. *grin* It's been a great run for a show and i still love the fandom. 

I really want to boot this bitch into next week. Seriously. I just want to be left alone, or else have her do something other than tell me where to take her and not get any gas money for it.

Next update will be fandom related, i  swear!

Play happy family and feed your daughter, and your girlfriend but don't get anything for mom. This is after you butter her up on friday(by making breakfast) morning to ask if the idiot girlfriend could move back IN with us.  Then you yell at her all morning today because you don't get your way, and don't even ask me if i want to say yes or no to getting your asshole girlfriend's stuff to bring back here. Guess what, i'm saying no if you DO ask. She doesn't deserve my civility, she doesn't even talk to me unless she wants something from me. I'm polite to her only because its my nature, and you still won't tell the shit to my face that you yell at mom about to MY face, you freaking coward.

I have a pounding headache no thanks to your tv up full blast since 9am and your voices on just as loud, and your own swearing about the dog and the cat because they don't dance to your tune.  The dog is TERRIFIED of you because you yell at her, and the cat doesn't give a shit what you think. I live right next door to you, but you carry on as if i'm not there. At all hours of the day. I doubt you'll change if i do get a job. I was more considerate of you when i was working when you were little, asshole. You aren't of me, when you have a job and i'm still hunting for one.

No love,
Me`

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My younger brother is an asshole but i had to get this out. As much as i love fandom i'm tired of this shit. He pulls it every chance he gets. Stupid bint of a girlfriend may be back in the house, but i give her a week before it goes to shit and she leaves again. This promise of 200$ a month? I doubt will be kept. Or if it is? Will go for maybe 2 months before he starts making excuses for not giving her anything. Meanwhile, teh bills to keep the house up? Will rise like crazy because the bint has no sense of organization or the ability to conserve power or resources. She can't keep a house. She has no ability whatsoever as much as he claims she does more than i do. Mom and i just need to leave. He can keep the house up, and drown in bills by himself. That way he can't blame anyone but himself.

I'm watching some Ultraman Cosmos today at some point, maybe it'll cheer me up a bit. I'm just tired right now. So very tired of this shit and i doubt it'll improve at all once i get a job. He doesn't look after mom the way he should, and he never will. Because he's a selfish little asshole. There are reasons i drew my boundries the minute i moved back in. He hates it that i made it clear and he knows it. Which is why he never tells me shit to my face, since he's too scared of me throwing it right back at him. I'm stronger than he is and he knows it. I've got my own pain disorder and i still kept myself up for as long as i could when i was working. I will again too.

Time to finish a few things and then run into town for an errand. Then i can attempt to relax for a little bit before the loudness and shit starts again.

He never seems to realize that his voice carries. I leave my door open for the cat to get in, and she was acting up this morning too. But he gripes at the girlfriend to take care of the baby and i can hear every bloody word.  Which wakes me up. And if i'm not asleep it carries through the goddamn walls to where i don't SLEEP.   I never sleep when he's got a freaking day off, and we have the hellions here with us.  Sarah and little Denver can behave themselves most of the time, Devon on the other hand? Incites more crap that should be done, or wants the world handed to him. I realize most little kids are that way, but i swear he takes it to extremes just because HE CAN.

Seriously, i just wanted a decent amount of time for a sunday but we have the whole squadron of insanity here. No wonder i want to hide in my room and STAY there.  It is not helping this headache at all, either.

He's at it again. He won't let her touch the baby right now after he came in at 3.30am and started yelling at her that she was worthless, and she does absolutely nothing. OF COURSE teh baby wakes up, asshole.  He picks up on your rage and her fear. He  may not have words, but he's got sense enough to be scared of you.  Gods... YOu can't see your eldest daughter's fear, either? I just dont' have the words to describe this insanity.

He's still tormenting her so much later. Not physically, no hitting. But this shit is more than enough to be horrible. I want him out too, not just her.  He doesn't deserve this baby, as much as i'd love to see him grow up. Evan can't stay in this kind of environment.  I'm pretty sure he's drunk, after coming in so late with friends.  He's not 20 anymore, he's got 3 kids and a job. He's supposed to be responsible. Instead he's this monster. I'd love to know where my little brother went, because the one that does this crap is NOT him. My cat won't go near him, and neither will the dog. They don't like him, and rightly so. Mom attempted to get him to stop yelling, and if i stepped in it would have been worse.

He's pretty much an abusive bastard, to put it succinctly.  I can't make up enough curses for whoever turned him into this. Cause it sure as hell wasn't my mother or my father. He was raised in a family that wasn't like this at all. Dad was never violent, EVER.  Mom and Dad fought, but usually made it right in a few days afterwards even if it was tense for a while. I'm pretty sure its his friends taht are part of it, a huge part of it. He was hanging with the one i like the least tonight and im pretty sure they just feed these petty rages with all the shit about 'you're better than those bitches, go on home. Take whatever you want from them, you don't owe them shit' I hate people like that. So. Very. Much.

If push comes to shove i WILL call the cops on him. He has a daily marijuana habit that i caught the cues of during christmas, and confirmed after i moved back in.  I can't physically throw him out, but i'm perfectly willing to be the one directing the boot that does kick him in the ass. I certainly have reason for it considering his weed habit endangers my chances of getting hired in as a pharmacy tech again.  I'm pretty damned sure its part of his extreme short temper as well.  I was going to leave him to get himself caught again on his own, because the way he is now? He's going to slip up, its almost guaranteed. I may have to push things up on my own, and i really don't look forward to it. If he slips up on his own, he can't blame us for his own stupidity that will definitely land him back behind bars.  He's embraced being the trash i never was, mentally and didn't let myself become.

Just goddammit. He's causing nothing but grief and discord and i'm pretty damned sure he knows it and doesn't give a damn.  Mom ends up in tears and i end up annoyed. I'm not angry yet, but the potential's there.  I don't know if i'm going to let it go on to that level to be honest.

I was trying to watch some of  KR OOOs but it's not working. i need something else to watch. I'll figure it out, for now? Sleep? Not yet. Probably not until the sun comes up again. Thank goodness i have a purring Velvet beside me, and she hasn't left my side much at all right now.

Welp, i'm back in my old home town again. Tired, but here. *yawns* i hardly slept all last night and i'm glad we had some extra help from some family friends. I lasted about half the drive on  my own after packing and just wilted, so Tom took over driving. Now to get used to living with an infant nephew and pets again. Also having a tv i might be interested in watching again.  But now i can play some of my stuff on DVD on a nice big LCD which is cool. :D

I expect my cat, Velvet to be leech kitty again. I'll have pictures later of her perching almost immediately on my DVD boxes. I figure since i have the ereader i don't need to have most of my books on hand. Once again, that gift is proving useful and i do like it quite a bit.  For now? I'm going to sort through things TOMORROW.  I also expect to ache like mad tomorrow too.

My time in limbo is almost over.  Heading to the court tomorrow morning to get this done and over with.  Already spoke to Treasury about the fines for the other stuff, and tomorrow is Secretary of State and the district court. 

Definitely liked this time with my family but i am MORE than ready to just get back to work, dammit.  I HAD intended to be working this last week.

One good thing? Meeting my brand new nephew, born april 21st. :D Evan Scott

We leave for GR at 4am.  Bleagh. but oh well. Home again. At least until i sort out things, since i think i'm going to head back to PH at this point. Probably won't happen until summer, but its definitely in the cards.  Time to start looking for a transfer.

Always a little tiring, and though its been fun for me i've been fighting a headache all day.  Between that and my aching mouth, from the wisdom teeth deciding i wasn't be able to eat my dinner all that well. I had to go slowly through the ham we had today. *sighs*  I should get some leftovers and keep them in the freezer until after i get my teeth pulled.  Probably the plan i think.  See if i can take some of the cookies mom and my niece, the little monkey made. (yes i call her chibi saru!)

Things are definitely better here though. I'm stupidly glad.  I got a lot of clothes that look great, and the big thing? A sony Ereader(still new!), that i've been fooling with on and off all day. Already have a few things on it, via my usual looking around online. *grin*  I'll be browsing all the public domain stuff i can grab soon though.  Mom got it through a friend, and i've been curious about the format. I didn't want them to spend a fortune on something that i may not even use in the end if i don't like it. If it works out, i'll probably get a Kindle or a Nook later on.  But i want to see how i do with this for a year or so.  I don't really need wireless on it at the moment. I wonder if i can toss some manga on it... (so i can catch up on Saiyuki!)

Now if i could make this headache back off more, i'd be happier. But its definitely been good.

My brother and his daughter got a Wii so we've been taking turns at the Wii bowling and Super Mario Bros (wii version) since last night. Mom got a Nintendo DS. :D Yes, my mother is the gamer of the family. She always was the best of the house, even compared to my brother. She has the patience to grind her way through them every night. If i ever got her into an MMORPG i'd be scared! *laughs* I remember us taking weeks to get through Star Tropics on the original Nintendo console when i was a kidlet. She'd play, i'd be reading the Nintendo power mag and tossing out where to go.  It worked, we won!  I'm a geek on my own, but there were the sillier aspects of my family like that. Mom and my brother are the gamers. Dad wasn't, and neither am i. 

Anyway, now to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special. :D