aliasofwestgate: (wickedsmile)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 06:26pm on 14/09/2013 under ,

Gramma Tanner left us at 5am or so this morning. Hopefully she'll be happy again with Grampa and my Dad and those that left before. I'm dealing okay with it, but this was a long illness complicated by her alzhiemer's on top of that. She was a fighter all the way, even without all her memories. Beat cancer twice, raised my mom and my uncles with grampa. Was one of the first Mary Kay ladies in Ontario, Canada. Helluva role model. She was a housewife, but in no way was she inferior. Like my mom and dad, the marriage was a partnership. The way it should be.

I'll never forget her, either. Now all we can do is help mom deal, because this was her last surviving parent. Gramma was 84.

It looks like we won't be going over today, so i think i might be on for LFR tonight. Dunno. Depends on how i feel around 9pm. But it would be something to do, and i get to talk with my friends in the middle of it as well.

aliasofwestgate: (shoot a cabbie--JW)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 01:26pm on 11/05/2012 under , ,
I had an 'audition' of sorts for a telemarketing for charity company. I did do my best, but my sincerity wasn't enough for them. They wanted a bloody stupid cheerleader culture. Not my style. Not EVER my style. As if cold calling isn't back breaking enough to begin with! I was the choir jock, the scifi/fantasy girlgeek. I could never buy into the cheerleader culture, i started to get annoyed with it by age 11 or 12, i think. Just before high school.

The cause? i honestly liked, but i'm much better suited to retail settings. I'm allowed to improvise if need be and do what's needed. Just. Yargh. Cynicism is allowed. Not that sarcasm wasn't, but i wasn't really comfortable in that office. It would have been write ups within a week and possibly an ulcer in a month. No way, and not again.

It just reminded me of how much i changed, even when i was a lot younger. Why i basically left that whole subculture in the dust at 16 with my general 'fuck it, i'm going military' at that age. After that? It was easy to distance myself from the stupidity of thinking/acting. I will never be that ON. It's exhausting, and frankly? Bloody well INSANE.
Music:: Amgio--SHINee
Mood:: 'amused' amused
aliasofwestgate: (BoredNowShou)
Heya all.

Yes i'm still here. Just been wandering around fandom and living with crazies, nothing new there. *grin*

BUT It's Anime Central time and i'm on my way in a matter of hours. 6am train from Port Huron, and i'll be in chicago around noonish. I'll try to post from there, but we'll see. For now? I'm finishing the last of my packing and getting things set to go.

Life's been a bit nuts. new live action fandoms, anime's been rather meh, but Toku's still going strong. Especially as i've been catching up on stuff i've been stalling on. We've got our two panels to present this year. our Tokusatsu 101 stuff, and Tokusatsu Tropes. Looking forward to introducing the genre to new people and seeing a few old friends at the Tropes panel. *grin* We have far too much fun presenting these, year after year. I wish i had more than my Shoutarou Hidari cosplay but that's not happening this year. Maybe next year i can either have made, or make my out GUYS jacket. Cause my favorite by far is Ryuu from that particular Ultraman show. Although...there's also teh EYES uniforms from Ultraman Cosmos. Cause Fubuki is just all kinds of awesome. Musashi's adorable but Fubuki is just so much fun in his perpetual grumpy badassery.

I might even try to finish writing that next chapter of Kahuna i've been working on. I'm not quite done yet, but i'm stuck on a bit of dialogue. Maybe this weekend will shake it out. I need a change of scenery and a weekend of geeking out should do it. 

We're having a long awaited reunion though. [ profile] sychogrl is coming back this year, and [ profile] padfut_n_prongs is coming for the first time. With luck next year, we'll have a [ profile] mbwun again. For now? Laughter, pictures and general fun and games of the fangirl variety.

Something i've definitely needed, and maybe i'll get that fanfic written. :D
Mood:: 'awake' awake
Music:: garo; makai senki background music
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 11:42am on 08/02/2012 under , ,
I really want to boot this bitch into next week. Seriously. I just want to be left alone, or else have her do something other than tell me where to take her and not get any gas money for it.

Next update will be fandom related, i  swear!
Mood:: 'bitchy' bitchy
aliasofwestgate: (eh?)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 03:56pm on 06/02/2012 under ,
I'm still live, I just keep getting engrossed in other stuff. ^^;; I'll post later, as a lot has been happening for me. In both fandom and non-fandom. At the moment though? bleagh.
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 12:40pm on 07/11/2011 under , , ,
She's been calling here for the last 2 hours. At least 10 times so far. Obsessively. Because she wants my brother to move heaven and earth to bring her BABY WIPES. She's the one who ran off, she's the one who tortures him all the time on the phone with whatever she says to him. (not that he doesn't deserve it). She forgets he has a bloody well job to go to, and that he's got a court date he has to make today as well.  A court date her current benefactors are responsible for shoving on him. He can't make it over there because she wants him to bring her shit. She has to figure out how to ask the OTHER people she lives with for help.  She doesn't want to live here (and i dont' want her here again besides), she needs to learn to fend for her bloody well self.

I'm betting she's going to call at least 5 more times to bitch at him for not doing what she wants NOW before he leaves to go downtown. If she doesn't, its because they've been arguing on the phone for the last freaking hour.  She's a five year old, i swear.

In the meantime? I just wanna pull my pillow over my head and ignore this shit. She gives me a headache.  (yes this is the little brother's idiot mother of his 3rd child and on again off again 'girlfriend' depending on her current mood)
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
Music:: Butterfly--Acid Black Cherry in my head
aliasofwestgate: (ankh snarl)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 06:39pm on 21/09/2011 under , , , ,

I'm wanting to kill our boarder in teh house. He decided he could clean up the sunroom so he could put all his stuff from storage in there. he was also sloshed to the gills. I'm talking three sheets to the winds drunk, so he threw things out we did not WANT thrown out, and he did it without permission. He was also so drunk he was insulting me about still being unemployed. (no calls back, what are you going to do?) Saying he earns more money than i do. I never did get to tell him, since he irritated me so badly that he may have more money than i do now on unemployment. What i want to tell him is that he's going to run OUT of unemployment and it may take a while for me to find the job, but in the end? I'll have a better job than he'll ever get, and i'll be in it a lot longer.  Also told me i don't belong in this house. Whcih is funny, he's the boarder (friend of my brothers), but I"M the daughter of the owner of the house.

So yeah. I'm in the middle of a flare up because of all thsi shit last night. i was close to a flare last night, before we came home to hours worth of work at 1am. all that work? has me sore today, my leg hurts badly and i'm tired from all the pain. So yeah.

I haevn't spoken with him since last night and i don't plan on doing again anytime in the next day.

On a good note? I'm going to be doing a bit of a project for Hikari Senshi fansubs beyond the basic timing work.  So my half fluency should come in handy again.   What i WANTED to do is a bit up in the air because of a bizarre mixture of dubs and subs out, but nothing that's just straight raw episodes of this particular heisei Ultraman show i want to do. Ah well.  ^^  We'll see.

In the end? GAARARGH. i just want some rest, dammit. and NO DRAMA.
Music:: mom watching NCIS
Mood:: 'cranky' cranky
aliasofwestgate: (WHAT?)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 04:06pm on 13/08/2011 under ,
Now i have to go to a judge and find a lawyer for this on monday. Denied again and told i HAVE to pay money i don't have before i get any of what i'm owed since June. Yes i was fired, i understood that. But my control over my engine is rather loose and i can't pay for repairs when my cash was bent on living expenses only after being garnished and losing  a freaking THIRD of it for the last 3 years.  On a good day, you can't predict what will go wrong with an engine even in perfect condition. it just HAPPENS, and that's what they decided to fire me over. Since i was supposed to prevent that with nonexistant extra cash.

Frankly, i'm so tired of this shit it isn't funny. I just want to be able to pay bills and help mom out, and i can't do it like this. I won't get any help otherwise, for very long while waiting this out. I'm going to have to go to FIA now for sure. I just ran out of money entirely, and i'd rather not run out of my medications entirely over this. I'll see what little help they can give me. But i really don't expect much at all, at this rate. I always get the short end of the stick for being smart enough to not pop out a kid. Meanwhile if i DID get pregnant they'd THROW shit at me.  I hate this shit so much it isn't funny.
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
aliasofwestgate: (nindawgwoof--another by padfut_n_prongs)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 06:40pm on 03/08/2011 under , , ,
Of course i don't have any money when my paid time runs out. I'm still waiting on the UIA to get back to me about the appeal but that may be some time. Considering my birthday is coming up at the end of the month (26th), i'm not averse to LJ paid time.  Mostly i'm just sick and tired of being broke. Rite Aid just HAD to give me the run around. Meanwhile, my bills stack up against me and i'm here with nothing, and not liking leeching off my mom while i look for another job.

Anyway, onto better things. Tomorrow, [ profile] touma_karamochi will be here until the 10th. I get to show her around my hometown and she'll finally get her first time over in Canada.  I've plans for English Style fish and chips, and we're going to track down a restaurant over there that serves sushi. Sarnia is certainly big enough to have at least 2 japanese eateries. Either way, it should be fun.

She's planning on getting me updated on all the Ultra Galaxy movies and tv shows, so i 'meet' Ultraman Zero so to say. I've been looking forward to that after finished watching Armored Darkness, Ghost Reverse and the Superior 8 Ultrabrother's Movie.  They all set the stage pretty well for this next bit. I'm also looking forward to seeing one of my favorite toku actors in it, Mitsuru-san even as a one or two episode character. *grin*  At the moment i need to make room on my HD again for all this stuff. Including Meibus again. :D I definitely want it on Hidari again for a rewatch. I adore Mirai and Ryuu and the whole team so much it isn't funny. As much as i adore the Ozu family in MagiRanger and the Boukenger sentai teams. You don't see mad chemistry like that too often, so it makes the shows so very watchable.

I've also been rewatching Kamen Rider Kabuto, which is far too amusing. I still think of Kagami and Tendou as the LOUDEST courtship of the heisei riders.  It takes 25 episodes of explosions, yelling and in general dancing circles around each other for them to meet up as equals and i love it all. Even the half crazed plot shifts afterwards, and the brawls between the Drake, Sasword, Kabuto, Gattack and then adding the Hoppers to it. Still a show close to my heart because of all that, and it also being my the first kamen rider show i ever saw.

I still have to finish watching KR Blade at some point. i'm not quite onto the final arc in it, but damned close. Half a dozen other unwatched things, but keeping it in mind for something to watch is pretty much all i'm doing. I WILL finish it, just not right away. ^^;; 

Tomorrow should be fun though, and i definitely need some of that. 
Mood:: 'annoyed' annoyed
Music:: Ryuusei--MiyuMiyu
aliasofwestgate: (zakennayo--by aliaswestgate)
posted by [personal profile] aliasofwestgate at 04:37am on 07/07/2011 under ,
He's at it again. He won't let her touch the baby right now after he came in at 3.30am and started yelling at her that she was worthless, and she does absolutely nothing. OF COURSE teh baby wakes up, asshole.  He picks up on your rage and her fear. He  may not have words, but he's got sense enough to be scared of you.  Gods... YOu can't see your eldest daughter's fear, either? I just dont' have the words to describe this insanity.

He's still tormenting her so much later. Not physically, no hitting. But this shit is more than enough to be horrible. I want him out too, not just her.  He doesn't deserve this baby, as much as i'd love to see him grow up. Evan can't stay in this kind of environment.  I'm pretty sure he's drunk, after coming in so late with friends.  He's not 20 anymore, he's got 3 kids and a job. He's supposed to be responsible. Instead he's this monster. I'd love to know where my little brother went, because the one that does this crap is NOT him. My cat won't go near him, and neither will the dog. They don't like him, and rightly so. Mom attempted to get him to stop yelling, and if i stepped in it would have been worse.

He's pretty much an abusive bastard, to put it succinctly.  I can't make up enough curses for whoever turned him into this. Cause it sure as hell wasn't my mother or my father. He was raised in a family that wasn't like this at all. Dad was never violent, EVER.  Mom and Dad fought, but usually made it right in a few days afterwards even if it was tense for a while. I'm pretty sure its his friends taht are part of it, a huge part of it. He was hanging with the one i like the least tonight and im pretty sure they just feed these petty rages with all the shit about 'you're better than those bitches, go on home. Take whatever you want from them, you don't owe them shit' I hate people like that. So. Very. Much.

If push comes to shove i WILL call the cops on him. He has a daily marijuana habit that i caught the cues of during christmas, and confirmed after i moved back in.  I can't physically throw him out, but i'm perfectly willing to be the one directing the boot that does kick him in the ass. I certainly have reason for it considering his weed habit endangers my chances of getting hired in as a pharmacy tech again.  I'm pretty damned sure its part of his extreme short temper as well.  I was going to leave him to get himself caught again on his own, because the way he is now? He's going to slip up, its almost guaranteed. I may have to push things up on my own, and i really don't look forward to it. If he slips up on his own, he can't blame us for his own stupidity that will definitely land him back behind bars.  He's embraced being the trash i never was, mentally and didn't let myself become.

Just goddammit. He's causing nothing but grief and discord and i'm pretty damned sure he knows it and doesn't give a damn.  Mom ends up in tears and i end up annoyed. I'm not angry yet, but the potential's there.  I don't know if i'm going to let it go on to that level to be honest.

I was trying to watch some of  KR OOOs but it's not working. i need something else to watch. I'll figure it out, for now? Sleep? Not yet. Probably not until the sun comes up again. Thank goodness i have a purring Velvet beside me, and she hasn't left my side much at all right now.
Music:: Velvet's purring at my right arm
Mood:: 'cynical' cynical


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